Home » Building Marriage Simply: when you’re overwhelmed

man and woman jumping off dock into water

Building Marriage Simply: when you’re overwhelmed

We are as different as could be. He loves to wreck things, I love to make things. He’s mindful of details, but I’m a big picture kind of gal. He’s a metal head. Metal all the way. He can hear a snippet of a guitar solo and tell you who’s playing, what album it’s from and where he was when he first heard it. Me? I love all kinds of music, especially old jazz and swing. Those jives speak to my soul. I’m comfortable with a microphone in my face, being on stage. He, on the other hand, would rather die painfully.

He can eat anything. ANYTHING, and be fine. I should just buy the man bags of sugar. Sheesh! He calls me the Food Police because I scrutinize every morsel I put in my mouth. It’s amazing what a priss my body can be when it comes to eats. Darn thing throws a fit on a whim.

When we first got together, all we had in common were our loves for Jesus and coffee. Yet over time, he’s given me an appreciation for a good headbanging track, and I serve him vegetables…that he eats. (Who lost out on that deal?) I go with him to demolition derbies and he takes me to art museums. We gawk together at car shows, and wander through the booths at the fiber festival. We’ve learned to meet in the middle. And you know what? Anything is fun when your better half is delighted.

Building a Marriage- lostuponatime.com

We’ve had a heck of a time lately, though. Man, it seems like there’s been one blow after another. With illness, jobs, our home, and loved ones- there’s been a lot to handle. Prince Charming and I? We’re in it for the long haul. But we both know that means work. It takes effort. It’s hard to be intentional about your marriage when you’re stretched thin.

But, I have a plan. And it’s simple.

(For once! Yeah…I know.)

I asked him first what he thought about my idea, and he loved it. Could he spare the time? Yes! I volunteered to put together what we’d need. He’s carrying an awful lot on his shoulders right now. This way, all he needs to do is show up.

Two hours. Me and him. Sunday afternoons.

Sundays are best for us. He works six long, long, days each week. But Sundays we’re usually together. Until now, we’ve usually left them open for whatever comes up; family get-togethers, running errands, etc. Often I’ll end up napping on the couch and he’ll be outside working on a project. Snagging just a couple of those Sunday hours (not including meals together) leaves the rest of the day for those other commitments; and it’s easier to plan for.

This could be us!

Plan? Yes, I did say plan. But I’m keeping this simple, remember? I’m making a list of ideas, plotting a few out on my calendar, and leaving some to draw out of a jar.  It doesn’t matter what we do, as long as we’re interacting. Communicating. Relating… And refueling. No work projects allowed. This is strictly fun. Ideas must be cheap or free, interesting to both of us- at least enough to try, and low commitment. I realize we’re not going to get our us-time every week. That’s totally okay.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Learn to play the accordion  (Umm, no.)

Play a card or board game (We actually really enjoy this.)

Play with our dogs (~At home. This means I’ll be vacuuming afterwards. We have a husky.)

Bake brownies (We’ve never baked anything together before. It could be interesting. But there’s chocolate involved, so it’s worth a try.)

Walk with the dogs (& pray there are no squirrels!)

Take our pups on a drive (& go exploring!)

Go to the Lake (Lay out on the beach, play in the water, get burned)

Go for ice cream (This is a sacred act in these here parts.)

Go through some old photos (With coffee. Carefully.)

Have a water fight (Should I tell him first? Bwahahahah!)

Visit the (free!) nature center (And wear comfortable shoes this time.)

Go to the mud races (Complete with picnic lunch)

Roast hot dogs and marshmallows at the fire pit

building marriage simply lostuponatime.com


Do you have any ideas to add to the list? How do you and your loved one connect? Help a girl out! Besides the obvious (wink-wink). That’s another list. (Speaking of… Fun To Be You had this AMAZING post on that other list. She issued a 7 day challenge for “connecting” (giggle) with your husband- and it is fantastic! Wives, this is a must read.)




  1. Kayla Rich says:

    I am so glad that you are taking time to fuel your marriage, It seems like when it is the hardest to do it is when we need it the most. Thanks for sharing my post with others. Enjoy those wonderful Sundays together 🙂

    • Mickelle says:

      You’re so right. I know the effort will be so worth it. Thank YOU for such a great post! I apologize- I never thought to tell you I had linked to it! It’s good stuff!

  2. Jill Perkins says:

    Great sight! keep up the fabulous work, a marvelous and timely avenue for the LORD to use you all over the world.

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