It was absolutely mesmerizing. Even lying there on our backs, the cool night air swirling above our still bodies; grass poking around the edges of the blanket beneath us, tickling our feet. It was astounding.
My best friend made a comment that wouldn’t leave me alone. She’s a deep rooted soul, and sharply discerning. I swear she can see straight through to the core of anyone. It could be creepy; in fact, it is to some. But she’s also honest. And I love that about her. I’ve never felt like I have to pretend to be anything but my raw and quirky self, and that’s exactly who she wants me to be. We’re real and honest and pretty goofy together.
So when she drops a truth bomb in my lap, I pay attention. I may pout about it, but I do pay attention. Read more…
One trend I’ve heard quite a bit this new year is in choosing a word as your year’s theme. It’s an interesting sentiment; and certainly better than making resolutions (in my mind at least). But how do you sum up your hopes for the next twelve months into one word? I can’t do it. Can you?
While working away in my basement workshop, radio blaring, I listened to a deejay share his three words. Three. That’s a little more my style. When I stand back and look at who Mickelle is at this point, there are many areas that need growth. And if I’m paying attention, I see overarching themes. I took a cue from my little dance with introspection and chose three words.
Fearless. Wise. Generous.
I’d love for each of these to describe who I am one year from now. Realistically, I think we’ll be camping here for much longer than that.
Do you choose words? Do you set goals at the dawn of a new year? Or do you make resolutions?
I’m goal driven, so the whole goal-setting gig is my bag. I’ve gotta be heading somewhere, aiming at something. January rolls around and I set my sights on targets in several chunks of my life. Spiritual. Health. Creativity. Home. Business.
And while choosing words is not at all the same as setting goals, I think they’re very much related.
Setting goals- that’s easy. Seeing them to completion… not so much. When I analyze my failures, noticeable trends pop up. It’s sickening just how often I sabotage my own efforts- both knowingly, and not. And fear is usually the culprit. Fear and I have spent a lot of time together. Most of my years, in fact. Fear has guided my decisions, my relationships, my dreams, and played a huge role in my health.
“Fear’s been your companion.” My dearest friend saw it and called out the truth. It’s been a constant in my life. Strangely comfortable. Reliable. Imprisoning; but with boundaries I knew and could understand.
So now, I’ve broken up with fear. We’re no longer, you know, together. And can I tell you something? The thought of living fearlessly- without those towering walls, the whispers in my mind, the premature defeats, the safety of it all- well…
Ironic, isn’t it?
Old habits die hard, I know. It’s going to take focus and energy to really rid myself of fear. But I’m excited when I think about the woman on the outside of that cocoon. Bright wings, and flying.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God...” Well, I’m asking.
Fear and wisdom have competed for an audience with me, and for the most part, you already know who’s won out. As I ramp things up here at Lost Upon A Time, I’m confronted with the gazillions of decisions there are to running a business. And most of them sit squarely out of my realm of competence. Look, I just want to make stuff.
Having listened to Fear for so long, I’m not very familiar with the sound of Wisdom’s voice. The book of Proverbs says she (yes, she) calls out in the streets. I must’ve walked right past her a thousand times. Now, I’m hoping we can sit down for tea and talk things over. I want to hear everything she has to say.
This one’s a stretch. My Prince Charming could tell you about how I do generous. Rather, how I don’t.
I’ve never really had to share much. And Fear has always told me to hold onto as much as I could -whether it’s time and energy or food and money. Hey- I’ll need it later, right? Not to mention that I so often haven’t had much to share anyway- because I was making stupid decisions in the first place.
See how this is all connected?
Generous to me is giving freely of myself. Not thinking I’m more important, or more in need. It’s listening when wisdom tells me there’s an opportunity to give. And muting Fear when it says I’ll regret it. Generosity is at the core of my faith. I read of a God who provides abundantly. Who lavishes forgiveness, unyielding. A God who gives good gifts, created beauty and life, and sustains us all. Generosity, by God’s design, is tangible and intangible. But it flows from the heart.
To live otherwise makes me a hypocrite in the worst way.
Come to think of it, to live bound by Fear makes me a hypocrite. I read over and over in scripture, “Do not be afraid“. I’m told I’ve “not been given a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind.” So, where’d I pick this thing up, then? It wasn’t given to me. I don’t need it.
Ignoring wisdom is to ignore the Source of wisdom. That’s not such a smart move, in my book. (Haha! See what I did there?)
Below is my new favorite anthem. Well, one of my favorites. (I can be heard belting this one out loudly while vacuuming or painting boards.)
So, friends. Here’s to a year of fearlessness! Of wise moves. And generous living.
I’m curious, though. If you could choose three words, or even one, for this new year, what would you choose? Why?
Sometimes, it’s the little things that really nail you. Know what I mean? Those easily missed details that, once you see them, change your perception. Discoveries like that are so much fun. And sometimes very personal. Read more…
Here in the States, ’tis the season for local radio stations to interrupt their regularly scheduled programming to play songs, around the clock, about some old guy in strange clothes, entering illegally into your home, leaving suspicious packages for you to find. Hmm. It’s the only time of year EVERYONE loves snow so much, that entire ballads are written about it. And virgins! Oh, never are virgins as hip as during Christmas time. Everybody, pro-virgin or not, sings about virgins. Gotta love a virgin.
It’s hard to know what to do; where to put your effort. For some folks that comes easy. For me, not so much. I really take my faith seriously. Following Christ colors every part of my life. Yet that “following” part isn’t always crystal clear. Life is demanding. Priorities get confused; and soon each day yields a muddled mess of dishes, meals, errands, to-do lists and a prayer that it was all worth something. A friend of mine once sent me a beautiful quote (that I can’t find now) saying that Christ is found among the pots and pans as much as He is in the sanctuary. I love that truth. Yes, He is ever-present. Yet, while I know I have to do my dishes (and I hate doing them), shouldn’t there be something bigger? Read more…
There was a storm that day. I remember it well. It seemed to come out of nowhere, just south of Wayland, near Martin. There was sun and then darkness. Furiously, it ripped out trees and damaged rooftops. There was a rage in the wind. And then, as suddenly as it hit, it was gone. The sun shone. The wet grass and pavement scented the air. People came out to asses the damage. Posts popped up on Facebook.
I’ve often wondered if He was displaying His rage, His sorrow. If He was responding to the evil that took you. Most of us still didn’t know you were gone when the hail came down that afternoon. And honestly, Kass, it feels like the storm is still raging, though invisibly now. It’s hard to hold onto that faint truth that evil hasn’t won. Because it sure looks like it did. Read more…
How’s your week been? Good? Bad? Meh?
Over in our little corner of the world, we’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster. Highs, lows, and definitely some unexpected twists. Thankfully though, no one’s puked so far.
Well, wherever you are, whatever part of the track you’re on in your ride, it matters. You matter. That’s easy to forget, so here’s a little PSA for ya, friend.
You were created with intention. For a purpose. Your life, your experiences- they have meaning. The good and the bad. The meh. Think back to what’s made you who you are. What have you over come? What battles are you still fighting?
There’s only one of you. You have a story.
Take a listen here. I promise you’ll love the music, you’ll love Morgan’s voice, you’ll love her hat. But it’s the words that’ll fill your soul.
Be reminded that your story matters, because you’re part of the bigger story. Your life is a thread in the fabric the Master Weaver has designed. Without you, without your story, that cloth falls apart.
Own it. Shine. It doesn’t have to be pretty, just real.
I quit my job yesterday. A job I loved. This tired body just can’t do it anymore. I don’t have to tell you how devastating that is. We seem to be wading through the Swamp of Bad News lately. It’s too foggy to see an end right now, and we’re tired. But I know we’ll find the other side. We will- it’s there.
And how are you? Is it sunshine and roses in your neighborhood? Your friends and family- are they well? Read more…